Today is the Tu Bishvat Jewish Holiday. That’s one of the lesser known holidays in the Jewish calendar. It falls on the 15th of the month of Shevat which is the lunar month that coincides with January or February, depending on the year. It’s the celebration of trees. It’s the New Year of trees, and some call it the birthday of trees. Particularly in Israel, when the rainy season is over, the trees start to bloom. It is the day that we eat special fruit and pray for blessings in our lives. I’ve been thinking about birthdays and blooming.

Birthdays are a time to celebrate growth. Much about trees can be compared to human beings and growth. We all grow at our own rate. And with the proper water and nourishment, we can grow tall and strong like a healthy tree. And if we plant the right seeds, we can even grow fruit like trees. We birth children and nourish them. Or we teach students and encourage them. But before growing fruit, we need to nurture our own growth. Growing doesn’t come without pain.

As I approach my Hebrew (lunar)  birthday, I think of the bumps in the road that I’ve had to navigate as a young and growing woman. All the memories I had – whether painful or pleasant helped to form me into what I am today. My teachers and mentors, parents, and so many more who inspired me.

Here are 60 memories to commemorate my 60th birthday. Each of these memories is another branch in the tree of my life. I look back on the past 60 years, and forward to the next – in good health, please God.

1. As a child in a family of six children, I remember lots of excitement, guests and charity events in our home.
2. As a middle child, I was teased by my older sibling. Which I hated. I never liked teasing, even when it was done in good spirit.
3. I loved music and enjoyed my piano lessons with my teacher, Miss Miller.
4. My favorite teacher was Miss Goldschlag, who enriched our lessons with projects, art and cooperative learning, even before these educational techniques were a thing.
5. After-school activities at our neighborhood Y, and swimming lessons in the indoor pool.
6. Holidays with cousins visiting from out-of-town. Lots of running around and riding bikes around the block
7. Studying for hard tests in Hebrew classes with my father, who had a great way of explaining the difficult material.
8. Turmoil of high school adolescent friendships
9. Drama productions in high school and loving to be a part of that.
10. Good friends from high school whom we still keep up with through WhatsApp chats.
11. My mom and I sharing books that we read and discussing them afterward. We had our own book club.
12. My mom nagging me about my weight because I loved (and still do) to eat.
13. My mom sewing clothes for my sisters and me, and the bribery that “if you lose 10 pounds I’ll make you another dress.”
14. Color wars and trips and fun with friends in high school.
15. Summer camp – which I had mixed feelings about. Fun but quite intense, as I was never into sports and some of the girls could be catty.
16. Post high school trip to Israel for the summer – fantastic experience.
17. Starting college and majoring in Computers. It was the thing to do. A bunch of friends dropped out because it was quite difficult. I stuck with it, but didn’t love it. So much for my not being a quitter, …..
18. Minored in music, and vowed to myself that I would eventually become a music major, even if it meant going back to school after my completion of the Computers degree.
19. My summer in California with a friend, and meeting my husband at another mutual friend in LA.
20. My courtship with my husband, and eventual engagement.
21. Marriage and moving to Los Angeles.
22. Adjusting to a new city, new people, and new in-laws.
23. Hard time adjusting, trying to acclimate, friction with my mother-in-law.
24. Fun times with my husband, little trips to nearby cities, silly jokes, his weird sense of humor, my laughing (sometimes) at his jokes.
25. My birth of my oldest son, followed a few years later by our second son.
26. A few miscarriages and the grief that followed.
27. A sweet baby girl born with a heart problem who lived for three months and passed.
28. More grief. Being home with my children. Wanting more stimulation.
29. I went back to school for music theory and harmony lessons. Threw myself into music lessons at the local college.
30. Birth of my next two sons, and my weight fluctuating.
31. More music lessons, music teaching, piano lessons.
32. Went back to school for music therapy degree
33. Four years of playing music and then my fifth son born.
34. My sons’ bar mitzvahs. The planning, preparation, guests, food, hosting, and lots of guests.
35. My children growing up, PTAs, park, music lessons for them, gymnastics and camp. Playgroups, library visits, Shabbos play-dates.
36. Dealing with teachers calls – both positive and negative. Exploring a new school for my younger sons. A new and more progressive school.
37. Fulfilling a six month internship in music therapy 30 miles from Los Angeles, and learning a lot, but impatient for it to end so I can go on and get a part time job.
38. Getting my first job as a music therapist working with children with autism and other developmental disabilities.
39. Earning my Masters degree in special education.
40. My family attending my graduations. Wonderful feeling of accomplishment.
41. Babysitters and guilt for being away from my kids.
42. Feedback at work from supervisors, both positive and some room for growth. Always room for growth.
43. Some of my children took up music lessons. Our oldest took piano, the next one clarinet, another one violin for a year, and then the younger ones clarinet and trumpet respectively. Today, none of them play consistently. And it’s okay.
44. My children developing a love for reading the Torah trop – leining the Torah in the shul/synagogue. And really loving to do that.
45. My children attending high school, each one with different strengths and wanting to go to different schools. As it turned out two went to schools out of the area, the other three stayed closer to home.
46. Planning for the future, thinking about careers for our sons. Meeting with career counselors, rabbis and other mentors.
47. Therapy to overcome anxiety and challenges. More therapy for occasional crisis.
48. The oldest goes to Yeshiva and then college.
49. And then the others do too. Each one has his ups and downs.
50. Our sons get married. Then, I become a mother-in-law, then, a grandmother.
51. I start to write. And write. About my life as a grandmother and a mother-in-law, my dilemmas.
52. My articles get published. I write more. I have a column.
53. I continue working as a music therapist, switching populations to the hospice clientele.
54. I publish a book with many of my articles and more writings that I add.
55. The book has a really cute title and sells nicely online and in bookstores.
56. Before one of my son’s weddings, I fall and break my ankle. I need 3 surgeries because of complications.
57. I’m in bed for 7 months followed by a year of physical therapy.
58. I write more. I reflect. I teach English in a high school, but then stop because I am too overwhelmed.
59. I decide that I need to practice self-care. I take up pilates and spinning. For now.
60. I write a blog about my memories. 

These were the themes of those years. Celebrations, disappointments. But ultimately, things work out for the best. They really do.

I accept myself in spite of my mistakes and the blunders. And I have gratitude for my passions and hobbies.

As I approach my birthday, I think of the wisdom I’ve gained. But more than wisdom, I’ve gained confidence. The willingness to do what I know is right, rather than what everyone else is doing. The power to write, to play music and to share my truth with others. And the compassion to see two sides of a story. All this makes up for the tree that is my growth and strength as an almost 60 year old woman.