Imagine having a group of women whom you admire – bloggers, writers, mentors, wives of rabbis, teachers, authors — all sitting in the same room and sharing their struggles and triumphs. I felt as if I had that group in my living room when I read my copy of Miriam Liebermann’s new anthology, To Fill the Sky with Stars: Women Explore Their Midlife Challenges and Triumphs. (Menucha Publishers, 2014).  The writers in the book span the entire spectrum of intellectuals and mentors in the orthodox community. Chanie Juravel, Dr. Miriam Adahan,  Sarah Shapiro, Rebecca Feldbaum, Libi Astaire, Yitta Halberstam Mandelbaum, and  Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz are a few names amongst the more than 60 writers featured.

When Miriam Liebermann asked me to contribute to her second anthology,  To Fill the Sky with Stars: Women Explore Their Midlife Challenges and Triumphs, I felt honored to be included amongst the “real” experts, some of my genuine role models.  I had read Miriam’s previously published book The Best Is Yet To Be, (Targum Press, 2011).  When Miriam compiled and edited that anthology, she was a pioneer in the topic of empty nest, women in midlife, and grandmother-hood musings, especially in the Orthodox Jewish world . I loved those stories, finding strength and honesty in the words of women who admit to being frustrated and sad about this new time in their lives, and taking that strength to start new careers and hobbies.

To Fill the Sky with Stars   takes the topics explored in her first anthology to another level.  We are past feeling the angst of empty nest. We already know we’ve been there and done that with  the child bearing stage. There’s less of the ambivalence every time we see someone who is expecting a child, or with a small child. (I’m talking about myself here!). There is the acceptance and contentment at this point, and rather than fight the reality, we now embrace it.

Embracing the reality of midlife challenges means tackling them head on. One women describes her struggle  while being caregiver for her elder mother who showed signs of dementia. Every time Mom yelled at her and ranted on and on in irrational ways, the daughter was faced with the sadness of watching her mother deteriorate before her eyes. And then her mom would have a flash of common sense and express something completely normal. The writer smiled at those moments. I felt for this woman who did not show herself to be a martyr but rather a normal human being facing the inevitable story of life.

The book is divided into various themes, as they relate to women in the midlife stage. Themes include:  Parenting adult children, caring for elderly parents, embracing new roles, connecting with a Higher Power, friendships, reinventing ourselves with new careers and hobbies, marriage, health issues and tips, loneliness, and death and dying are included. All sections have an overview written by Miriam Liebermann, giving the reader rich insights and interesting points of view. In addition, Miriam’s own stories are featured throughout the book in various sections.

One of my favorite stories is by a writer who describes her perceptions of being unloved by her mother her entire childhood. During her childhood, the narrator felt  that  she was being dismissed and misunderstood.  After  her mother died, she comes across some important things  while cleaning up her mother’s  house. She realizes that all along her mother did get her on some level, and that discovery and knowledge brings her peace and closure. So many of us have strained relationships with our mothers during our lives, and this story shows how often those feelings – real or imagined — can be resolved in some way.

To Fill the Sky with Stars is a smooth read, albeit long. The poetry is interesting, although I prefer the stories.  The book can be read in bits and pieces, as the stories are short and separate. 490 pages. Sold in Judaica books stores, on Amazon and on the publisher’s website.