This week, some friends from high school and I were informed about the tragic and untimely passing the previous night of  a mutual classmate, Heidi Weisel.  

As  messages flew back and forth between us expressing our sadness and shock about Heidi (who went by Chanie in high school), we grappled with how to process the situation going forward. We knew we wanted to do something meaningful together. The question was what to do.

It’s been over forty years since high school. And yet, with the raw knowledge of Heidi’s passing, the years melted away and we are just a bunch of friends remembering  times with our friend. There’s something very special about childhood friendships. There’s a certain comfort in the shared  history. When I think of Heidi, I think of that kind of friendship, one that is full of sweet memories. The friends we meet as adults  along life’s journey are different than lifelong friendships with the ones who really know you; who can laugh with you about the crazy things you did in school and camp. The pranks we played and the fun we had while passing notes in class. We may only see old high school buddies occasionally, but when we do get together, we  pick up where we left off.

Our class has kept close ties over the years. Not just the pre-holiday phone calls. Think   regular  in-person (pre-COVID) reunions, frequent phone calls, meet-ups when visiting in each other’s towns. celebrating simchos together, and an active WhatsApp chat for  sharing news and lots of friendly banter. So, when the news of Heidi’s passing came, we  wanted to  cement that bond in a significant way. We wanted to channel our grief into something positive, for the sake of the neshama of Chana bas Shlomo Dovid Halevi.

Heidi Weisel was the daughter of Holocaust survivors, Rachel and Shlomo Weisel.  Heidi’s carefree childhood was cut short when her mother died when Heidi was thirteen years old. Heidi had to fend for herself, learning  to cook, clean, and even sew.

After high school, Heidi pursued studies at Fashion Institute of Technology. We followed her successful career as a fashion designer from afar, noting the covers of magazines that featured  her photo and designs.  She notably dressed many celebrities (Brooke Shields, Oprah Winfrey, Drew Barrymore, to name just a few) with her evening gowns and sportswear.  Heidi was renowned for her designer clothing that was trendy, modern, elegant and sophisticated.

The Chanie we remember was the same; back in school,  she led the yearbook editing team, and created dances for our school play. She wrote poetry, sewed gowns, and sketched drawings. I remember her beauty and elegance, her blonde flowing hair.  I remember her smile, laughter, warmth, and down-to-earth demeanor. She spoke in an unaffected way with pure sincerity. I remember how she was a giver.  I remember her kind heart.

As our friends reminisced over the WhatsApp chat the past few days, certain themes about Heidi emerged. She was a gifted listener, fully present and in the moment.  She put her whole heart into whatever she did. One example was the organization, Sharsheret. Sharsheret, a national organization that supports women with breast and ovarian cancer helped Heidi during her illness. Last August, Heidi started an initiative for a program at Sharsheret in which she  donated the  “Rachel Robe.”   for women’s use while suffering from cancer. Her Facebook page read “we will be gifting the Rachel Robe to members of Sharsheret’s “Embrace community.” Heidi chose the name Rachel, in memory of  her mom, Rachel, who also faced breast cancer. Heidi wanted those facing breast or ovarian cancer to be comfortable in her luxurious robes.

Here were some of the memories  shared by her classmates:

“Chanie had such poise and character; so much to handle, and yet was still part of school…”

“Always cheerful and focused on what she wanted to do…. happy, sweet, beautiful…”

“She did it all with such grace….”

“I’ll always remember how engaged she was…whenever anyone was speaking to her- you felt she was totally focusing on everything you were saying…”

“I remember her as beautiful and luminous with a great laugh…”

“She cooked, she cleaned, she washed, she studied, and did well…and she sold her own clothing…a talented person…”

We know the world has lost a precious soul.  As a relative eulogized at the funeral: she  did kindnesses until the very end.

As our group of friends slowly comes  to grips  with this fresh and raw news,  we will  do concrete acts as a group  to perpetuate the memory of our Heidi.  In order that her  neshama should have an aliyah, one friend suggested we say daily tehillim (psalms) for our friend. Each of us has committed to say a few chapters per day. Another friend arranged a way for a joint donation to an Sharsheret.  Our contribution to Sharsheret is in Heidi’s memory and will be used for the robes and other needs.

May the memory of Chana Bat Shlomo Dovid Halevi be for a blessing. To donate to Sharsheret organization, please donate here. 

My deepest sympathies to Heidi’s family – her dear brother, Jack, and her cousins, for their loss. May they be comforted over time.