Today I had a harp lesson. I hadn’t had one for a few months, and I was itching to get practicing my music. Well, one sure way I get motivated to practice is when I have a lesson! So, Liesl, my harp teacher came by today and the first thing she did  was hide my music notes from me. Yes, that’s right. She knows and I know that I’m totally addicted to my sheet music.

You see, I’m afflicted with what I call  “sight-reading attachment.” This basically describes my need to use music to play piano and harp, my two instruments that I play.

Memorizing music is not so easy for me, and playing by ear is a bit tricky. But only because I don’t practice those skills enough.  I depend too much on my sheet music which end up being a crutch. They are an impediment to my really learning the music.

In fact, when I do motivate myself to memorize music, I find that I play the music (after it’s memorized) with more emotion, fluency and even accuracy. I’m free to play it without worrying about what comes next. The music becomes part of me and flows right out of me through my fingers.

Notes and sheet music are simply instructions for how to play a piece of music. When we can liberate ourselves from the instructions and become one with the music, we create better music.

I remember what the doctor who fixed my broken ankle some years ago told me when I had canes after I was supposed to be walking without them. He told me to “lose the crutches, lose the canes.” He didn’t want me using them anymore because it was time to go on my own and not depend on them for leaning on.

Do we have crutches in our lives? Do we lean on things or people when we can do things by ourselves? I know I do that. And now, I will go play my new music on the harp – without using my sheet music. I will play by ear, using the instructions that I know well enough to play by heart.

It’s appropriate to seek help when we truly need it. None of us are meant to be in this world alone, doing everything ourselves. But there’s a time and a place for figuring things out on our own. When we use our resources and creativity we end up with more beautiful results than when we depend on others to do things for us.

My goal in the next few weeks will be to try to do things myself without jumping to ask for help. That’s my challenge. How does this resonate with you? How can you make prettier music when playing by ear rather than relying on the notes? (Even if you’re not a musician!)