Imagine coming home one day and finding a large set of furniture in your living room that you had no idea would be there? How would you feel?

a) thrilled that you now have a room of furniture

b) On the phone with a moving company to get it out in storage.

c) a mixture of happy, angry, sad and confused.

d) on the phone immediately with the well-meaning giver to request that it be exchanged.

Okay, by a raise of  my readers’ virtual hands, how many of you grandmothers (mothers-in-law?) or grandchildren LOVE to get gifts? How many love to GIVE gifts?

Everyone? Some of you? None of you?

You may ask, “it depends upon the gifts….”  or “it depends upon the way the gift is given.” And you’d be on the right track with where I’m going with this. Because although it is great and wonderful to know that someone has thought of us, it’s not always great and wonderful to be “stuck” with junk in our house.

Or to feel as if something undesirable is being thrust on us.

As the Holiday season is nearly here (Chanukah is early this year!), I like to think of how we can bestow gifts upon our married kids, their children (our grandchildren!) and others in our circles.Some like to give money and let the receiver use it in whatever we he or she chooses. Others like to give what they enjoy giving.

And still others give what they think or know the receiver likes. Some ask the receiver to come along shopping for the gift. Others may give a gift certificate redeemable at a particular store.

There are so many ways to bestow gifts of love (flowers anyone?) on our loved ones, and there is no right or wrong way (well, that’s not true – I guess there are wrong ways!).  So it’s a matter of communication and knowing the giftee and what he or she would like in terms of how the gift is gifted.

Then there’s the aftermath. What if the giftee doesn’t express thank you? Do you – as the mother-in-law, stew inside? Do you stop giving gifts to that person if the thank-you’s don’t ever come? Do we demand a thank you – especially from the little grandchildren (“What do we say? What’s the magic word?” NO – not Please…but………..th th th…”)

And then pull it out of them until they say it? Is that what we ae doing?

What are your thoughts? Let me know.

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