A few nights ago, my husband and I – and two great friends who joined us in the backseat of our car –went on a  COVID/social-distancing type of  outing to a Chanukah event at a  synagogue  around 20 miles away.  When we got to our destination (the parking lot of the “shul” or synagogue), we stayed in our car, and greeted our frineds through the rolled down window. They then handed us a booklet of puzzles and clues.

This was a contest, or scavenger hunt of sorts; based on those clues, we plugged the destinations into Waze, and figured out some Chanukah-themed  puzzles for more destinations (with the great help of our brilliant car-pals!).

We then drove  around to various places in search of the next clue, the next clue and finally back to the shul parking lot.  Alas, we didn’t win the race, and only solved a few of the steps, leading us to just a few of the correct destinations (cross street with  a plaque that says “4 H club” Huh?}.

But, through it all, we four people had a blast, figuring out some of the clues and being stumped by others. We laughed a lot, and munched on the donuts that the shul people had planned. COVID-rules-wise, it was win-win. We didn’t interact with anyone outside of the bubble of our car, yet, the game was fun and original. And it was great to get out a little for a change of scenery.

These are the times we are in.  Drive-through events and  celebrations (drive-through engagement party, drive-through Parent Teacher meetings…) are becoming the norm.  No longer do we have the option to attend indoor events. Even when things are not drive-through, but “walk-in” gatherings, they are held outdoors in the fresh, often chilly air.

In fact, our choices for many pleasures or even simple joys in life are dwindling. As many cities here in the US are in their second or third lockdown,  choices for socializing our fewer than ever. Parties – certainly large ones– are discouraged by the CDC, amusement parks are closed, restaurant for anything besides takeout is eliminated,  traveling is curtailed, shopping is limited to essential type goods.  Salons, gyms, and other forms of physical grooming places or self-care are closed.

The obvious result of this phenomenon for many people has been depression, anxiety, frustration, anger, to name just a few feelings. People may deal with the changes in varying ways. Some are resigned to the situation, expressing a “whatever” or “it is what it is,” and “oh well…”  Some are more optimistic and are hoping that the upcoming vaccine will help matters and provide a level of herd immunity. Yet, realistically, in the back of our optimistic or fatalistic minds -whatever they may hold – we wonder if things may ever get resolved. And even as a vaccine is rolled out today, we are told that those who are vaccinated may have to wear masks as well for awhile.

So, yeah, not many hopes for living like we used to. But, there is hope, if we look for it.

One of the mantras I’ve grown up with since childhood is that I can only control how I act, and how I drive my own car, if I’m going with the car or drive-through metaphor. I cannot control others and how they operate their cars. Today, I apply those lessons in our drive-through experiences with COVID-19.

Today, I can choose to complain about the myriad restrictions OR I can choose not to complain (well, maybe a little bit of complaining is okay!).  I can express the joy at working around the restrictions creatively.

Let’s take the wearing of masks, a pet peeve of many. I can rant about masking and how it’s oppressive and uncomfortable. I can choose to go on and on about how the masks don’t work and those who wear them get sick too. I can criticize the CDC for mandating masks and assert my right to do what I feel is safe, and not follow what the CDC or Dr. Fauci or any other supposed authority says is safe. Hey, many are doing that, and I’d be no different from others around me. It’s not like I’d be an outlier.

Or I can choose to put on a mask when I go out to public places, and find a comfortable mask that works for me. I can move on with my day and accomplish the things I need to do in my day, avoiding the extra energy it takes to complain about masks. I can accept that my complaining (right or wrong) is not going to change matters, and that I’m not in control of the bigger picture.

I can choose to realize that my opinions and thoughts about masks (or any other debatable matter these days – and there are lots of them) may be important or valid and  interesting to chat about. But at the end of the day, I have my day to accomplish. I have work, I have children, I have grandchildren, a mom, a husband and good friends. I have stuff to do.

My energy can only go so far. When I argue and debate and express my negativity about certain matters (fill in the blanks about them – presidential election, race relations, COVID, parenting….), I take away from time I have for other things.

And so, today, on this day when the vaccine is being rolled out, I choose positivity. I choose hope. I choose to avoid unnecessary arguments with those who may disagree with me. I choose to be me and do what makes me feel okay.

In these days and going forward, in my future posts, I’m going to be writing about positivity in our daily lives. My focus will be on turning the negative around and reframing the situation. This is not about a Pollyanna approach where we deny the negative. We accept the negative and we face up to it. We name it, and then we move forward and move on into solution.

When I drive forward and look at my life through a positive lens, I come out winning the ultimate hunt for happiness.