Reality television documents a  fake world these days, most recently  that  of My Unorthodox Life, the new show about Julia Haart‘s  exit from the Orthodox religious community. Most sellable to the media was her rags-to-riches meteoric  rise to CEO of a modeling company, designer of shoes, culminating in the main star’s fabulous success. It’s a fake world with a disturbing message.  The show depicts a one-sided view of a woman who claims to have suffered as a religious woman (no other trauma. Just religion is the culprit), who left community and  with the right combination of hard work, talent and luck, made it big. And they lived happily ever after.

As I continue to read the articles and reviews of the show and I’ve even watched the entire show, it all strikes me as well…..fake. In my attempt to right the wrong, I create a fanstasy in my mind.

In one of my fantasies, I see a billboard in which NetFlix has changed the title of their show My UnOrthodox Life to  “My Free and Fantastic Life.” No mention of religion. Just Julia Haart celebrating her current  life.

The new tagline would be “Croptops and crabs  brings fun and freedom.” A talented matriarch who loves fashion makes it big in the fashion world, bringing her brilliant children along for the ride. Period.

Netflix’s “My Unorthodox Life” is less about unorthodoxy and more about anti-Orthodoxy. Less about celebrating women’s freedom to accomplish her dreams and more about how being Orthodox supposedly  squelched any  aspirations past marrying and becoming a baby machine. Every episode is  bashing Orthodoxy and religious people from Julia Haart’s  past.

It’s been almost two months  since My Unorthodox Life has aired, and  I’m still upset about Julia Haart‘s show and follow-up comments that paint Orthodoxy with a broad brush of gross generalizations, misrepresentations and falsities about its supposed primitive and oppressed ways.

Judaism has restrictive laws; there are rules and boundaries. I’ve known people who have left the path of Torah religion. The  reasons they leave are many. Some were traumatized, some were influenced by the more free life, and some just didn’t want to be religious. No judgment.

But, what I find confusing in the Netflix show  are the examples that Julia gives as constraining and throwing her over the edge. There’s a mocking tone, a disrespectful attitude and an implication that religious laws are fundamentalist. That people in the community are uneducated, backward and repressed.

Writers have expressed their outrage in on-point online articles. Many are fearful that the false depiction of frum Jews as so primitive will Gd forbid fuel more anti-Semitism. A new movement entitled #myorthodoxlife where women post their pride in being religious and successful has been helpful in putting the message out there that the show does not resonate with myriad Orthodox women.  The story portrayed by Julia Haart of the oppressed women in a cult of  Orthodoxy is  a very different  story of many women in the Orthodox communities who are fulfilled, happy and yes, educated.

I’m angry at Julia Haart’s  stating as fact things we as members of the same broad community know as false. For example, she remarked  that Orthodox women are considered inferior to men, and only exist in relation to men, and that women are not permitted to drive, ride a bike, or get a job. False statement.

I’m upset that she paints her past life as being one where women (in general, not just her) were not allowed to get a higher education. That is patently utrue in general  in Monsey where the Haart family lived  or most other Orthodox communities. Again, misstatements.

I’m insulted that her daughter tells exaggerated stories about the way her bridal teacher educated her. I’m enraged at the way Julia mentions countless times how she was taught about a cruel (false) punishment that women get with acid on their body for one thousand years for not adhering to the laws sof modesty. I’m furious at how she talks about how she wasn’t allowed to work and got a job secretly working in  insurance job. And on and on and on.

I’m confused by her claim that all she wants to do is “empower women” to be “true” to themselves and be free to express themselves etc, when to me she has a clear agenda: to smear her past tradition. I feel betrayed that she literally boasts about eating oysters in the first episode of the show. I’m shocked at her hypocrisy when she declares how she “loves Judaism” and only “hates fundamentalism” when her love for Judaism is not shown at all, despite the superficial Sukkos meal she holds in Paris, France. And oh – the Passsover/Pesach seder she talks about where she wears her bikini while her religious relatives do their thing.

I’m wondering how she could take certain religious laws out of context (shoes on the right foot first anyone?) and mock Jewish law. They trivialize and take literally blessings made in the morning by men and women, using these facts taken out of context to prove  supposed inferiority of women in Jewish culture.

There’s  so much that Julia does not tell us about how and why she left the community. She “tells” but doesn’t “show.” We hear her describe  her supposed provincial past while showing footage of Boro Park streets. But hey, we know she lived in Monsey, a suburban town where women drive, go to university and pursue higher education. Something is wrong with this picture.

It’s her life, her show, and as long as it’s on Netflix, it will get lots of publicity. We can try to counteract the false narrative but at the end of the day, how is that helping us in our day to day serving of Hashem?

Every time I take a look at one of the Haart’s social media, that’s time away from my own religious passion. I could be praying for a sick person or volunteering in our community. I could be attending a class online or in person. I could be enjoying the company of my children. I could be spreading the positive values of Judaism to those who are open to learning. I could be writing an article, reading a book, or spending time with my husband. I could be calling my mom, my sister and all my loving family whom I’m in touch with. I could be learning and studying Torah with my Partner in Torah or other learning friends.

In my constant following of these people who have views that are clearly so opposed to my belief system, I’m losing myself. And that’s not good.

The bottom line is I need  to UnFollow the fake reality show that is My Unorthodox Life.

As Batsheva Weinstein (Haart) has said in one of the episodes, “let’s all stay in our own lane.” Thank you Batsheva. I think I’ll follow that advice. Your show described another lane –  not ours, not mine, and thank you very much, I’ll go back to my lane, My Orthodox Life. I wish you well.

I don’t need fantasies of new titles. Netflix can choose to call the show whatever they want. We know the truth about our religion and that’s what matters. Stay focused, in our own lane, continue on our paths of success and fulfillment.