At first I wanted to title this post “Setting up a support system,” but I changed it to “Embrace a Support System” because so often we are offered support by others, but we either push them away or don’t reach out for more. We need to accept support like the lifeline that it is. It’s kind of akin to prayer – we ask G-d for help, and then we don’t always see the small miracles that He shows us.

I maintain the same concept with our human relationships.

These days in the somewhat tail end (hopefully) of COVID-19, we are still on edge. And we can’t do this all alone – and by “doing this” I mean deal with the day to day frustrations.

While the numbers of COVID cases seem to be going down, the fact that there are vaccines to be had (even though it’s not so easy for everyone to get the vaccine) is a relief for most. Still, people are on edge over the repercussions that the past year has caused. The financial, emotional, and spiritual toll is huge, and everyone is tense. And some are uncomfortable with the idea of the vaccine.

With all that is going on, no one needs arguments and debates. What we need now is support. Support is not sitting around a campfire and singing Kumbaya. Support means having a cheerleader to hold one’s hand during these times. Whether it’s a spouse, friend, therapist, or coach, these mentors are most important during these stressful times.

I learned this many times in my life. Although I’m rather independent, when the going gets tough and I struggle with emotional or physical challenges, I reach out. When I broke my ankle, I welcomed the offers I had from friends. I talk about this in my book that was recently published. I wasn’t always comfortable with having people help me. I didn’t want to bother them, or I felt too needy and helpless. And yet, I reached out and asked for help. I accepted offers that came to me, because I could not have dealt with my situation otherwise.

Someone recently commented how she was amazed how much support I had during my broken ankle situation. She said that she finds it hard to ask for help; she doesn’t like to bother people. She’d rather do the shopping herself than ask for help, and even during COVID, when shopping was not recommended for elderly – which she is, she used PostMates or other services.

I applaud people who can figure out ways to cope and use their own resources, without asking others to chip in. However, I think there are times when it’s important to let go and allow the love in. I feel like resisting help from others can backfire and make others feel as if we’re shutting them out.

Of course, it’s important to create the support system that works for each of us. When someone asks you how he or she can help, think of ways that work for you. Recently, someone wasn’t feeling well and I went to visit her. I asked her what she needed and she told me, so I was able to shop for the items before visiting her. Another person I know reached out on a WhatsApp group asking if anyone can drive her to the doctor because she recently had surgery and was unable to drive. These are ways we can give and receive support.

Whether we are dealing with COVID related challenges or any other life struggle, it always helps to reach out and lean on someone else for support. And as the old saying goes, “reach out and touch someone.”