My conversation with a friend a couple of weeks ago went something like this:

Me: I’m going to NY to visit my mom.

She: You’re not afraid to go to NY? Isn’t that a hotspot for COVID?

Me: Not a problem. My husband and I both have antibodies for COVID, as we had the virus in the spring and were tested postive for antibodies.

She: Does that mean you’re immune? Don’t they have evidence of people contracting the virus a second time?

Me: Oh well….we’re going anyway. I can’t think about that….

And so it goes with the rationalization of the behaviors that we are already doing. Enter what is known as  the Motivational Quotient which represents how well we use motivation to achieve success.  If we are clear about our motivations and knowing our “why” at all times, we have a better chance at succeeding in our goals. There’s a lot of talk by author Simon Sinek and others  these days about “finding our why.” Why we want what we want is important for achieving goals.

In life, and these days in the COVID era, we need to know our why in order to achieve goals.  When one has clarity and purpose during a journey, one doesn’t get lost or sidetracked. In the case above, I believe knowing my motivation for going to NY (to visit my mom) helped me go peacefully and less defensively. I was able to admit that perhaps I was bending the rules of COVID. That’s my choice, and that’s okay for me.  I had my why. I had my reasons, and I went for my goal. And I had a great time too!

True, I have antibodies, and that was my “excuse” for going without worry about infecting others. I made that choice because visiting my mom was my “why.” So while knowing that I was doing something that by some standards would be considered inconsistent with the COVID guidelines, I went forward with the travel because I made the decision that worked for my life and my comfort level. With my “why” as a focus.

Understanding one’s motivation is part of the EQ Emotional quotient based on  EI (emotional intelligence).  Having awareness means facing the true reasons behind our goals or why we are arguing for a cause.  Or why we vote for a particular candidate. Or why we insist our child takes piano lessons. Or why we write articles.

It’s just about recognizing the real motivation behind our actions and attitudes that sets us free to achieve what we want with peace. Without looking over our shoulders. Without concern about what others think. Just focused on our true motivations.

I personally find that when I accept that sometimes my motivations are not so pure, I can realign the motivations and move forward.  When I realize I don’t have to be perfect all the time, I’m happier. When I acknowledge within myself that I make mistakes, that I’m (gasp) inconsistent at times, I’m more at peace. When I realize that I make decisions that work for me (but perhaps not for others), then I know  I am doing my best.

We often look at others and judge their actions. He or she doesn’t wear a mask in the street. Some group out there held a party without social distancing and only fifty three and a half percent of the people were wearing masks. Definitely a risk for a superspreader event.

Yes, it’s tempting to look at others and blame others for their actions. We see so much inconsistency these days. But, that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Life is messy; life is inconsistent. Life changes every day. In reality, nobody is perfectly consistent at all times. We all are trying to do our best. Things come up in life, and every situation is different, requiring a specifically tailored decision for each person.

It can be challenging to look in the mirror to see our true motivations. Maybe we tend towards patterns of inconsistency where we don’t walk the walk at all times. But, when we look within ourselves and see the inconsistencies and acknowledge them, and then either change them if we can, or not, we can move forward without judgement of ourselves and others.

Photo Credit: Cristofer Jeschke on Unsplash.com