My last post was about things during COVID that some of us are FED-UP with and various feelings we experience during this time. I included the acronym for FED-UP (frustrated, erratic, doubting, unsure, perplexed) and discussed each feeling we can name during our new-normal.

Resolving some of these feelings happens when we accept our reality. When we don’t fight it. When we realize that this is the way things are supposed to be. For example, when someone resists our offers to help them, or when we want to accomplish something we think is a a good thing, and we end up failing. We may feel frustrated and upset (and doubting, erratic, and other feelings), but it helps to think about the BOY SCOUT creed.

We all know the famous story about the eager Boy Scouts who offers to help a little old lady walk across the street. However, to the regret of the do-gooder boy scout, the little old lady tells him she has no interest in crossing the street that day. And so, the boy scout has to accept that his good deed is not meant to be done that day. I call that the Boy Scouts Mitzvah Creed. Do good (mitzvah in Hebrew) where you’re needed, not only where you think you are needed, or where you want to be needed.

I feel like those scouts these days. In my zeal to do good things during this time of COVID, my efforts often backfire. Although I know that it’s the thought that counts, or whatever the cliche of the day is, but it really has begun to irk me.

For example, a few months ago, I was ready to donate convalescent plasma, in order to help those who are ill with COVID. I had reached the right amount of weeks past my last symptom of the virus, and had proof of having had the virus. Additionally, I filled out a long questionnaire online and in person and passed through all the pre-qualifying levels. I finally went to the clinic on the day of my appointment. Well, before I was even let into the area where they set you up to donate, I was pricked with a finger, and told that my hemoglobin was too low. I was given a sheet of paper full of iron-rich foods, and told to come back in a few weeks.

Well, a few weeks later, I went back, after having my daily dose of iron vitamins and was fortunate to be able to give plasma. I was very grateful. Then, several months later, I had the urge to do so again. So I made my appointment, and discovered at the clinic that my iron had dropped once again to below the required amount. Oh well. I went home and got serious again with my iron rich foods (I had neglected them for awhile after the last time donating), and several weeks later I was back at the donation center checking my hemoglobin. Yes, it was up.

But here’s what happened. The phlebotomist who started a line for my blood to be taken, claimed after about 15 minutes that I was becoming sore at the site. She claimed that I had moved my arm slightly when adjusting my cell phone in my other hand. She was right. I thought she would simply fix the line and continue. However, she removed the line and told me I have to come back another time.

I was so disappointed. I had blocked out the entire afternoon for the donation and here I was told to go home (after they put ice on my arm). I didn’t even feel any soreness; I did not know what the issue us.

But there it was plain and simple. I wanted to give plasma, and they did not want to take it from me at that time. Yes, they needed the plasma, but that day was not going to work out. End of story.

These kinds of situations happen from time to time. I have a feeling my readers can relate. Sometimes we want to give something or do something for our adult children and they’re like, “No, we’re good.” Other times, they ask for our help and/or accept our offers graciously.

I recall many years ago, I was asked by a friend to host her elderly parents at our home for a simcha that she was making. My friend didn’t have extra room in her house, and she appreciated that I was willing to let her have our guest room for her parents. As the day to their arrival got closer, I cleaned out the room, and got things ready for them.

Then, the day of their arrival, I was notified that they would not be coming after all. My friend had found a home that was closer to their house for walking. She felt it was better suited for her parents. I was disappointed, but I had to remind myself about the boy scouts situation. We don’t want to force a situation where the recipient is not comfortable taking. Or where we are not needed.

So, while we all want to do good in this world, we cannot always successfully complete every mitzvah interaction that we attempt.

And our challenge is to find the places where we are needed, and do the good there. As the song goes, “I cannot do all the good that the world needs; but, the world needs all the good that I can do.” Meaning, the good I can do. Not the good I necessarily want to do.

Even that old lady who looks so much like she wants to cross the street. Probably best to ask her first. And then, accept the lady’s answer.

CREDIT for photo image: Freeimages.com