I’ve been thinking lately about how I and others function in social settings, parties or crowds.

I’ve seen people be really friendly. And I’ve known others to be outright snobs.

Here’s an example of friendly:

“Hi – how are you?”

“I’m great. So nice to see you! How are things?” (listens to answer and has a smile on face).

Here is an example of snob:

“Hi – how are you?”

“Great. Talk to you later! Gotta go!” (no smile, or fake smile and feigns having to go to the bathroom).

When in a crowd of people, many of us become overwhelmed with the various number of people there. Some of us are introverts, preferring to stick to the corner of the room and grab a coffee and just sit alone. Others are more extroverted and choose to mingle with friends and acquaintances.

Me, whether I feel extroverted or introverted at the given time (I tend to have my days in either mode), I like to make overtures. By “overtures,” I mean that I am the approacher and the other person is the approachee.

I function well in my “friendly” persona.

Now, I can choose to be in my “non-friendly” persona which would mean that I sit there and wait for someone to come over and say hello.

But I rarely get results when I am waiting for it to happen. Better results are achieved when I’m already talking to someone else and then (gasp) a second person wants to join our conversation.

However, being friendly, making overtures and approaching others carries with it some risks:

a) Approachee may ignore my overtures.

b) Approachee may respond abruptly and then move on.

c) I may tire of the conversation and not have a tactful way to ease myself out of it.

Now, what would happen if I chose one day to be a non-approacher?

In that capacity I would sit at the sidelines and wait for others to come to me. Or I may not wait, but I would keep busy with eating, and walking around. Perhaps I would find a seat and make lists of things to do the next day. Or maybe I would “people watch.”

Hmmm. That person seems a bit lonely. …wow – she’s an amazing dancer…

People watching is fun to do, and quite harmless. No gossip is involved, and lots of insight may be achieved.

In my non-approacher capacity, what would I do if someone came over to me and said,

“Hey, Miriam, how’s that salad? Is it good?”

I wonder – would I ignore said approacher? Would I smile and respond? Would I walk away?

I think I might do one or the other, but one thing is for sure.

As a snob, I don’t function very well. Here’s why:

I am not taken seriously that way. You see, if you don’t usually act as a snob, others will be quite surprised and think you are either not feeling well, or really spaced out.

They don’t respect you for your snobbery. You can’t just turn on the snob button from one day to the next and expect people to say, “wow – she’s so important and has so many people flocking to her that she is just fine the way she is. Take a number and wait on line to speak to her.”

Nope. Some of us do not function as snobs.

Others do. I’ve met those people. I’ve watched them (when I people watch). I’ve been on the receiving end of their snobbery. I actually admire them for being able to carry on their snob persona.

But that’s not me. I function better on the other end of the social persona.

Call me nerdy, call me super friendly. But that’s me.

What about you? How do you function? Snob, friendly, luke warm or somewhere else? Share with us below.

Photo Credit: http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=25718&picture=street-party